Human First. Mamak Second. Malaysian Third.

Defending my Mamak-ness prior to celebrating my Malaysian-ness does not make me less of a Malaysian

COMMENT

I met a guy the other day. We were at a café in The Gardens and the barista got our orders mixed up – so he ended up drinking his café latte in a cup with my name and I had my Cappuccino in a cup with his name. We both thought it was pretty funny and the next thing I knew, I was sharing a table with him, having a wonderful conversation.

“Are you local, Fa?” Hairi asked as he studied my face.

Having heard the same question over hundreds of times, I smiled, “Yes, I’m from Penang.”

“Aah…Anak Mami la ni,” he threw his flirtatious smile across the table.

Almost instantaneously I replied, seriously, “No. I am a Mamak. Anak Mami are basically Mamaks who have Malay blood or vice versa due to mix marriages,” I explained. “I am Mamak ori.”

I don’t know why but every time someone thinks I am anak mami or have some mixed blood, I tend to make it clear that I am a Mamak.

Like the other day when I applied for a broadband installation, the salesgirl filled up the race section of my registration form as ‘Melayu’.

Upon realising it, I refused to sign the form and clarified, “Saya bukan Melayu.”

“Tapi nama you Melayu,” she insisted.

Irritated, I said, “Saya bangsa India.”

“Wah, tak pernah saya jumpa orang Hindu ada nama Melayu.”

I spent the next twenty minutes or so explaining to the girl about the difference between race and religion.

The thing is, as an advocate of Bangsa Malaysia, I am always telling people to be a proud Malaysian. I don’t even remember the number of times I have whacked our ex-DPM via my articles for celebrating his race above his Malaysian-ness. But look at me now – here I am, making a clear stand that I am a Mamak; a Muslim of Indian origin; NOT a Malay; NOT Anak Mami. I could have just said “I am a Malaysian” and be done with it. But I didn’t. What a hypocrite I am!

I have spent quite some time analysing my thoughts, trying to make sense why is it so important for me to defend my Mamak-ness prior to celebrating my Malaysian-ness. There has to be a reason. There must be.

And then I realised the truth which was imbedded in me…

You see, the first lessons I received in life were about being a good human, a good person. I remember my parents telling me as a little girl – ‘Don’t be naughty. Be good. Say thank you. Smile. Be kind.”

My next lessons were about being a good Mamak girl. Mom often lectured – “You must learn how to make curry – otherwise no one will marry you. Family comes first – always. Save money – it doesn’t grow on the tree. Work hard – you are not a Malay to get scholarships.”

And then my dad opened up my mind about Malaysia and the world – “Your country is your home. Your community is your family. Take pride as a Malaysian. Always find a way to contribute to society.”

Those were my lessons in life – be a good human, a good Mamak and a good Malaysian. So is it wrong for me to say I am a human first, a Mamak second and a Malaysian third? Clearly being a Mamak doesn’t make me any less of a Malaysian.

This reminds me of a close friend, Amir Harith – a young chap in his mid-20s. Just like I introduce myself as a Mamak, he too often introduces himself as a Jamak – a Jawa Mamak. Funny though, he neither looks Jawa nor Mamak, but his heritage is something he is so proud of.

I mean this is a guy who despite enjoying all the privileges as a Malay Bumiputera, had the guts to stand up in a BTN gathering and question the speaker on the rationale of Malays being the champion race in Malaysia at the risk of being hated by other races. If you ask me, ‘Amir the Jamak’ is more Malaysian than any one of us who chant about being Bangsa Malaysia but do nothing about it. Amir didn’t just talk about equality and respect for others. He asked the important question – should it come at the expense of others.

The truth is, despite everyone claiming to be Malaysian first I still find un-Malaysian like behaviour.

I still find people continuing to talk in Chinese oblivious to the fact that there are non-Chinese around. Is that the Malaysian spirit ─ to be disrespectful of others around you?

Likewise, I still find Indian parents raising their eyebrows upon finding out their daughter is in love with a Chinese boy – is that the Malaysian spirit? Isn’t all that is important is that he loves your daughter and treats her kindly and with respect and allows her to be who she is?

And let’s not forget the Malays who choose to blindly support their own kind at critical times, ignoring right from wrong.

Malaysian first? Come on lah, who are we kidding!

I believe what most of us fail to understand is that being a Malaysian isn’t about being less of a Malay, Chinese, or Indian. It is a sense of pride that despite being Malay or Chinese or Indian, we still belong together and are willing to work together for the common good.

It is not about Malays, Chinese and Indians living in a segmented world – instead, it is about bringing our uniqueness together into this amazing melting pot we call Malaysia.

A Malay need not wave his keris in the air to prove he is a Malay and neither does a Chinese have to parade in a baju kurung and selendang to prove how Malaysian she is. Being a good Malaysian is all about being a good Malay, a good Chinese, a good Indian and a good human being but it also has to be more than that.

Being Malaysian is about

….recognizing what is important for the collective good.

….respecting differences in opinion, not criminalizing it.

….being united for right and against wrong regardless of who is doing it.

So yeah, I may see myself and even describe myself as a human first. A Mamak second. A Malaysian third. And frankly if anyone has a problem with that, well…I don’t give a rat’s ass about it.

It doesn’t bother me anymore that people pronounce themselves as Chinese first, or Indian first, or like Muhiyuddin Yassin did, as Malay first…..as long as they know when and how to be Malaysian.

I know I do….the thing is, do you? Are you willing to be Malaysian when it counts?