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Sunday, June 28, 2015

Of polygamy, arranged marriage and being closer to God

Mariatul Qibtiah Muhammad Husaini and Muhammad Solahuddin Nordin, both 21, have never met prior to getting married. Their marriage was organised by GISB Holdings Sdn Bhd, a reincarnation of Al Arqam, a banned movement in the 1990s. – The Malaysian Insider pic by Afif Abd Halim, June 28, 2015. Mariatul Qibtiah Muhammad Husaini and Muhammad Solahuddin Nordin, both 21, have never met prior to getting married. Their marriage was organised by GISB Holdings Sdn Bhd, a reincarnation of Al Arqam, a banned movement in the 1990s. – The Malaysian Insider pic by Afif Abd Halim, June 28, 2015.
Less than a month after tying the knot, a young Mariatul Qibtiah Muhammad Husaini may soon see her husband sitting on another wedding dais with a blushing new bride by the side.

But while other wives would baulk at the idea of sharing their husbands, the 21-year-old accepts it as an opportunity to grow closer to God.
Mariatul's views are not conventional, but, then again, neither was her wedding with Muhammad Solahuddin Nordin, 21. 
The pair were strangers when they recited their matrimonial vows with 23 others during a mass wedding ceremony on May 30 and 31 in Bandar Country Homes, Rawang.

Their entire relationship, plus the wedding, was arranged and organised by a private company called GISB Holdings Sdn Bhd, which previously went by the name Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd. 
"I feel so grateful because they made everything easier for me to marry the prophet's way. Prophet (Muhammad) didn't marry based on love. God wants to show us that marriage is actually simple.
"Our marriage was managed completely by the company. They saved us from falling in love before marriage," said a beaming Solahuddin.
While other couples may spend years wondering whether they are ready to commit to their partner, Solahuddin and Mariatul suffered no such anguish.
After learning one another's names from their wedding forms, and attending GISB's one-week marriage course, the couple knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.
Love forbidden
"If you want to get married, don't fall in love (before marriage). Love will diminish the blessings of your marriage. Only fall in love after marriage."
This was the advice from Johari Morad, the coordinator of the mass wedding ceremony.
Johari said couples already in love and wished to take part in GISB's grand wedding would be disappointed.
This is because the company rejects those who fail to abide by its one cardinal rule: that love is only to be experienced after marriage.
"People may think it’s unfair, but we want the marriage to receive God's blessings. Marriage is a way to have offspring – think about how many children and grandchildren will be born out of one marriage.
"So there should be no devil’s lust when the marriage is about to take place. The devil's lust rises the moment there is love. 
"Islam does not allow that. This is not a rule that GISB created," said Johari, who sits on GISB's board of directors and isJohari Morad, who is in charge of education in GISB Holdings Sdn Bhd, says the only way for a marriage to receive God's blessings is to avoid the devil’s lust. – The Malaysian Insider pic by Afif Abd Halim, June 28, 2015.Johari Morad, who is in charge of education in GISB Holdings Sdn Bhd, says the only way for a marriage to receive God's blessings is to avoid the devil’s lust. – The Malaysian Insider pic by Afif Abd Halim, June 28, 2015.
 in charge of the firm's education portfolio.

For couples who met the firm's criteria, Johari said the company obtained consent from the parents before organising their wedding.
In most cases, the process is simple as the parents were usually GISB employees, he said.
But GISB's role does not end with the wedding – the company also ensures newlyweds are separated from one another for at least two days after exchanging vows.
Johari said he created this rule so that the couples had enough time and breathing space to get to know each other.
"They've just met each other. We don't want them to be startled. They've just gotten married, so let the husband text or call his wife first. We created this phase where they have to get to know each other from a distance.
"We don't want them to experience their first night together immediately, this might shock them.
"They are fresh. They are not accustomed to interacting with the opposite sex. She has never touched another man and he has never touched another woman," said Johari.
GISB's view on forbidden love before marriage may not be deemed mainstream, however.
Selangor marriage and divorce department head registrar Aluwi Parman has a different take on love before marriage.
"Which is better, love before or after marriage? Both have their pros. 
"In Islam, we're told to know our partner first before marriage. If someone wants to get married, they need to learn about their partner's family background first, their morals (akhlak), knowledge (ilmu)," he said.
"If they don't know their partner and only learn about this after marriage, then that would take quite some time.
"There are benefits to falling in love after marriage but knowing your partner well before marriage is much better, according to Islam," he said.
When asked whether Prophet Muhammad only loved his wives after he married them, Aluwi was unsure.
But he said there was no doubt that the prophet knew his partners and their family background before agreeing to marry them.
Living in the mainstream
The name Global Ikhwan may ring a bell for those who followed the developments of Al Arqam, a Muslim missionary group popular among Malays during the 1980s and 1990s.
At one point, Al Arqam spread its teachings through education, publications, businesses, medicine and agriculture, and amassed thousands of followers.
By 1994, the National Fatwa Committee declared the organisation deviant. But the movement refused to die out and later emerged with a new name: Rufaqa Corporation.
However, the government became worried over Al Arqam founder Ashaari Muhammad's growing influence and promptly banned Rufaqa.
The group took on the name Global Ikhwan but that, too, was banned.
Today, the group is now known as GISB Holdings Sdn Bhd, a private registered company.
Since setting up its headquarters in Bandar Country Homes Rawang in 2000, GISB strives to fit in with mainstream society, with some success.
For instance, the grand wedding ceremony was organised in cooperation with the Selangor Islamic Religious Department (Jais).
Johari said 17 deputy qadi helped lead the couples through their solemnisation and Aluwi himself was present at the ceremony to deliver the wedding sermon.
Gombak Chief Qadi Zainal Abidin Sulaiman was also present.
"Ustaz Zainal Abidin took a proactive approach and prepared the wedding certificates early on so that he could pass it to each couple when the ceremony ended," said Johari.
Despite undergoing multiple name changes, for many, GISB is still synonymous with polygamy, thanks to its earlier offshoots like the Ikhwan Polygamy Club and the Obedient Wives Club.
When asked whether she was prepared to be in a polygamous marriage, a smile spread across Mariatul's face.
"God willing (I am ready). After all, this is all done to grow closer to God. Once the relationship becomes polygamous, we can fight, we can work, without having to worry about our husband.
"We can focus on our fight, our work. So the heart will be even closer to God," she said. 

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